Dream With People

Previously in the Dreaming Again serious: What Are Your Dreams, Dream Big & Small, Dream About the Dream

There’s a nasty lie going around. It seeps into our thoughts and distorts our vision. It grips our heart with fear and puffs us up with pride. It disguises us as strong victors standing alone on our mountains. It robs us from one of the best things life offers us—each other.

Don’t believe the lie that says, “You can do this by yourself!” Um, no. We can’t. We need all kinds of people in our lives period—dreams or no dreams. So, if we are really interested in pursuing our dreams, we will silence that lie and intentionally surround ourselves with and be aware of other people.

I could choose any number of people to use as an example, but I’d like to use the life Joseph from the Bible. I think it’s relatable since he is known as a dreamer, and, well, his life wasn’t always sunshine and giggles. Here are some highlights:

• Joseph was the highly celebrated son of Jacob and Rachel. He was Rachel’s first child.
• As a teenager Joseph had a couple of dreams that indicated he would be in a position of authority over all eleven of his brothers.
• Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery, but lied to their father saying he was  dead.
• Joseph found favor even in slavery, but his boss’s wife falsely accused him of rape and had him thrown into prison.
• Joseph found favor with the prison keeper and made friends with Pharaoh’s baker and cupbearer.
• The cupbearer remembers Joseph when Pharaoh started to have troubling dreams.
• Joseph found favor with Pharaoh and was eventually named governor of Egypt, successfully managing seven years of abundance and seven years of famine.
• Joseph’s dreams proved true when his brothers came to Egypt in need of food during the famine.

In case you are wondering…yes, Joseph’s dreams were a little different than what I’ve been talking about so far in this series. There are all kinds of dreams—big, small, long term, short term, imaginative, bucket lists, markers of success, and even ones that God is responsible for. I read a tweet recently posted by a pastor that said, “God does not create a man and put a dream in him. He creates a dream and wraps a man around it. You are God’s dream in the flesh!” I have found these dreams to be the hardest to steward, but also the most satisfying and, maybe, rewarding. Let’s talk more about that next week.

Joseph had some significant people in his life that helped, even when it seemed like the opposite, his dreams become reality. As we look at them, can you identify these people in your life?

Biggest Fan

Jacob unashamedly celebrated his son’s life. Genesis 37 says that Jacob loved Joseph more than his other sons. Is that a good parenting practice? Nope. But, let’s consider the fact that Jacob waited 14 years before he got to marry Rachel, and was tricked into marrying her sister while he waited. Plus, Rachel was barren for at least eight years after they were married. So, that’s a lot of waiting. Although favoritism isn’t ideal, it is always good to be celebrated.

We need people in our lives who unashamedly celebrate us. People who look at us and say, “Yes!” People who say, “You’re not an accident. You’re a gift from God—fearfully and wonderfully made. I can’t wait to see what you do in life!” They are the steady Eddies. They are like cheerleaders—constant encouragement no matter where we are in the “game”.

Can you identify your biggest fans?

My mom is hands down my biggest fan. She still brags on me to all her friends—she can’t help it. I noticed a fun statistic. When my mom shares one of my posts on her facebook page, my post views go up by at least 75%. Pretty fun, right? We need big fans in our lives who believe in us, support us, and can’t shut up about us.

Buckers

Whether we like it or not, we need people who buck against our dreams (or lack of) and challenge us on every side. Buckers come in all shapes and sizes. I’ve mentioned my friend Allen who bucked against my lame excuse for not dreaming. It started with a simple question, “What are your dreams?” The right question at the right time is very powerful. Ideally this type of person is operating out of concern for us. But let’s be honest, life isn’t always ideal and that makes relationship with others complex. Sometimes buckers turn into buttheads. Regardless, we shouldn’t be too quick to dismiss them. People who buck against us are sharpening us on every side, making us dig deeper, checking our endurance, testing our faith, etc…

When I think about Joseph’s brothers, I see the lost potential for great buckers. I saw the thick bond of loyalty displayed between my late husband and his four brothers. You can imagine the fighting, competition, and, well, buttheadedness in a household of five boys. But at the end of the day they would never betray each other. If one brother is attacked, they stand beside each other forming an un-penetrable wall. You don’t see that in Joseph’s brothers during the first half of the story. Jealousy got the best of them and they betrayed Joseph. Yet, even the brother’s betrayal was a form of bucking. They challenged the dreams and they challenged the dreamer. Joseph was forced into slavery and wrongfully imprisoned, but then became promoted to governor. We can’t ignore that fact that Joseph was a slave and prisoner in royal places. We can’t ignore the fact that the Lord was with him and he excelled even in chains. We can’t ignore the fact that his dreams were real. We cannot ignore that fact that his butthead brothers had a hand in getting him there.

Are some of your buckers actually buttheads? It is important to know the difference between someone challenging you and someone who is hurting you. I’m not saying become a victim. Instead of dismissing them, pay attention to the way you are being sharpened by people who are not in your fan club.

Can you identify the buckers in your life?

My first vocal instructor not only bucked against the way I was singing, she got all up in my pride. She gave me an extremely hard time (borderline butthead), but she taught me how to sing correctly. I cannot receive one compliment without thinking about her and being thankful.

Bosses

I’m using the term bosses to describe people over us or who have gone before us in areas. You can exchange the term for something less intimidating if you need to. The idea is that we need people who notice and call out the things we are good at and meant to do. And, who give us the opportunity to practice them in safe places.

Joseph had three bosses in his life.

Potiphar: In slavery Joseph’s master was Potiphar who was the captain of the guard in Egypt. Potiphar saw that the Lord was with Joseph and that his hands were successful. As a result, Potiphar put Joseph in charge of all of his house. Of course, Potiphar’s butthead wife ruined that.

Prison Keeper: Joseph was thrown into prison, where the King kept his prisoners. Again, the Lord was with Joseph, and he found favor with the prison keeper. He was put in charge of all the prisoners and earned the total trust of the keeper. Joseph, and consequently the keeper, were successful. It was in prison where Joseph met the Pharaoh’s cupbearer who later remembered Joseph’s gift for interpreting dreams.

Pharaoh: A couple of years after meeting the cupbearer, Joseph was introduced to Pharaoh. And in one moment, after all the slavery, imprisonment, and practicing, Joseph got the promotion of a lifetime. Pharaoh noticed and called out the Spirit of God in Joseph, and the discernment and wisdom he carried. Joseph was made governor of Egypt.

We can have all the gifts and talents in the world, but unless we are willing to submit to the bosses in our lives they will never be called out and used. Overseers recognize, call out, and use those gifts.

Can you identify the bosses in your life?

I have the incredible privilege of being ordained under the covering of Family Discipleship Ministries (FDM). These guys are my “bosses”. They are blazing paths and inviting me to come along. From the first day I met them they recognized and started calling out the gifts in me fashioned by God. They won’t let me be anything more or anything less than Adrienne. As a leader I pray I am as effective as they are. As a  minister I feel safe and confident because of these people.

We need people to help us accomplish our dreams. It is for our betterment to take a look around and find the people who will believe in us and keep us encouraged, who buck against every idea we have, and who can lead us to places we didn’t know we could go. Most of the people in our lives are not mistakenly there, happenstance, or consequential. Let’s be purposeful about community.

And, flip it, you are, or potentially are, one of these types to someone else—hopefully not a butthead.