Temper My Heart

I’ve been keeping a request–let’s call it the Acorn Project–before the Lord for a while now. I have moments of inspiring faith and anchored hope followed by moments of disillusioning doubt and second guessing everything I’ve heard. That’s just before noon. After lunch I put on my brave face, roll my eyes and say, “Whatever,” as I avoid making “eye” contact with Jesus. A couple of hours later, of course, I’m right back at his feet regaining strength and clarity.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, after my talk-to-the-hand moment part of the day, I was praying and the phrase “temper my heart” came to mind and out of my mouth. This wasn’t a normal phrase that I use. I’m not even sure how it got into my database. (Maybe from a recipe where you temper eggs. Is that a thing?) It’s distinctiveness caught my attention, and I’ve prayed it a few more times over the Acorn Project. I decided I should look it up  and see what it means since it was resonating so much in my conversations with the Lord.

Temper (verb)

• to dilute or soften by influence of something else
• To anneal or toughen (such as steel) by reheating and cooling in oil
• To make stronger and more resilient through hardship
• To put in tune with something: attune

In my prayers the connotation of the phrase “temper my heart” is a combination of the first and last definition. I’m asking to the Lord to adjust my heart from its frantic, fragile beat with his influence–I want to be in pace / attuned to him. But how much fun and thorough are the other two definitions. I love the contrast between the meaning “to soften” and the meaning “to toughen”. And then there’s definition no.3, “to make stronger and more resilient”.

If I’m honest, and why wouldn’t I be, everyday I can’t see evidence of the Acorn Project changing, sprouting, some sign of something, my heart feels like it cracks a little more. Each crack feels like it is leading to an irreparable shatter. So, how sweet and merciful of the Lord to bring to mind the phrase “temper my heart” as I talked with him about this request.

As I’ve been praying for my heart to be in pace with his, God has added that my heart would be stronger and more resilient. I just love him so much! He knows I’m a nerd and that I would totally look that word up. He knows that I have the Merriam-Webster app on my phone.

I don’t know what you are holding before the Lord or how long you’ve been there. I do know he is listening and that he is talking back to us in some way. The Psalmists repeatedly write the Lord heard my cry AND rescued me or delivered or some sort of action. As we are waiting for the visible signs of change in our requests, in the meanwhile…, I pray we position ourselves to keep talking to him and to keep listening.