In her book, In Other Words, Jhumpa Lahiri journals about her decision to learn and write from the Italian language. Learning a new language isn’t easy, especially if your goal is to write from that language. Throughout the book, she refers to the help needed as she learned and applied the new language. Lahiri paints a picture of the many buildings in Rome under repair, surrounded and supported by scaffolding. Like these ancient buildings, she was supported by the strength and expertise of friends as she underwent an expansion and renovation as a writer. Lahiri would read from her favorite writers as a muse to keep writing. She surrendered her work to experts for translation checks and to colleagues for critique. In whatever way these friends aided her, it was support. This unexpected, intriguing imagery has stuck with me. Scaffolding remains one of my favorite analogies for friendship.
We are created to live in community. There’s no way around it. It is a repeated principle in the Bible. As disciples, community with God and the Body of Christ is essential. In relation to the subject of leadership, there is no exception. One of the ways we strengthen ourselves as shepherds is to surround ourselves with friends. God-fearing friends have the freedom to both cheer us on and call us out as we grow as disciples and leaders. Like scaffolding, we can stand on their strength as we mature, develop, renovate the calling on our lives. There’s no sweeter strength than the support of a trusted friend.
I knew I wanted to talk about Nathan and David in this series on shepherds. Their relationship is an example of trusted friendship.
When David became king, he desired to build a house for God, a dwelling place for the ark of the covenant. Nathan the prophet responded, “Do all that is in your heart, for The Lord is with you.” But that night, God gave Nathan more. A detailed word to speak to David. It wasn’t just about a building; it was about his life. God was calling David to be a house of God. The word also prophesied about David’s offspring and the coming Messiah from his lineage. (2 Samuel 7)
Friends of shepherds encourage the dreams in our hearts, but also the calling on our lives. They can spot it, call it forth, and help cultivate the things God has purposed.
We know the story. David, the man after God’s own heart, had a side trip with his own heart. Scheming, adultery, plotting, murder, more scheming. David was out of control. The Lord sent Nathan to him with another word. This time, it was to call David out of sin and to repentance. The way Nathan approaches David speaks of friendship. Anyone can yell, criticize, and call out sin. That’s not the hard part. It takes a friend, someone who loves us, to redirect us. (2 Samuel 12)
Nathan engages David’s heart with a story. There were two men. One was poor, and the other was rich. The poor man had one lamb that he loved very much, but the rich man had plenty of flocks and herds. The rich man had a guest that came to town. Instead of picking a lamb from his own herd to be prepared for the guest, the rich man took the only lamb from the poor man. It is recorded that King David’s anger was kindled against the rich man, crying out, “This man deserves to die and should restore the lamb fourfold.” Nathan said to David, “You are the man!”
There are times in life when it’s nice to hear that phrase. A celebration of something you’ve accomplished or done on behalf of others. You da man! But when the storyline involves a selfish sheep stealer, well, that’s not one of those times.
In one instance, Nathan reconnected David to the little shepherd boy who killed lions and bears to protect his sheep. Who worshiped the Living God while no one was watching. (2 Samuel 12)
Shepherds, do you have friends in your life?
Nathan the prophet remained close to David throughout his life. He had a word from the Lord confirming that Solomon, David and Bathsheba’s first living son, was beloved. Most scholars agree that their third living son was named Nathan as a way of honoring the prophet. At the end of David’s life, Nathan continue to prove himself a faithful friend as he helped protect the succession of David’s reign. (1 Kings 1)
I want to add how important it is to have friends who are walking at the same pace as we are in life and in ministry. David and Nathan were leaders to the people of Israel. Different roles, but both were shepherds. There is plenty of room in our lives for all kinds of friendships. However, as leaders, some of those friends shouldn’t be intimidated or enamored by leadership. We need friends who will honor God and his word more than our job titles and influence.
Friends should reflect God’s love, mercy, holiness, righteousness, and joy. Who is surrounding you? Have you given them the freedom to celebrate you? Have you given them the freedom to call you out when needed?
Father, we are asking for holy friendships that honor you and your word. And, we want to be good friends in return, a friend that supports and strengthens others.
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Read the posts from the Shepherds Series: The Image of a Shepherd, 3 Red Flags for Shepherds, 9 Qualities of Good Shepherds
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