IF

John 11

Two different women make the same statement in the same location, but Jesus responds differently to each one. Martha met Jesus on the road with her thoughts about Lazarus dying. Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. Mary remained seated at the house until Martha returned and said, Jesus is asking for you. Mary rises quickly to meet Jesus and says the same thing to him that Martha did. Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.

What was the difference?

The versatile word IF. How many nights end with thoughts of IF as we lay our heads down? If I had done this… If I had known… If I were only a few minutes earlier… If he would just say I’m sorry… If she would just show up… If I could just get my act together, etc. Of course, there is usually a new group of IFs waiting for us as we wake up. If I can get work done early… If I had extra money… If I could stay in bed… If I could just get this right…

In the case of these two women, one way to see the IF is as a lack of understanding. Martha’s direct approach comes across as an accusation. If you had been here, she said, accusing God of being late, maybe even of betraying her. Jesus’ response starts a conversation meant to pull back layers and get to the heart of the matter. Martha was missing something about Jesus—of who he was, even though she thought she knew him. I can say/see this because I’ve played her part many times.

But, there was something different in Mary’s approach. She wasn’t waiting for Jesus so she could give him a piece of her mind. She approached him when he called for her. As Mary revealed her lack of understanding, she wept. Lord, if you had been here. It wasn’t a presumption of him. It was a desperate plea and a desire to know him more. Jesus’ response to Mary also got to the heart of the matter. He cried with her. John doesn’t say why. He only records that Jesus was deeply moved. Maybe as a way to show that he sympathizes with us, that he is always with us. Or, maybe, it was her thirst to know him more that moved his heart.

I don’t know all the answers to the multifaceted IF, but I do know one thing. Every night, every morning, and all the minutes in between, Jesus is Emmanuel, God with us. He wants to be known. If the IF rising in our heart leads us to Jesus’ feet with a cry to know him more, that’s a holy place. It moves his heart. Consider John 12 when we see Mary again at Jesus’ feet worshiping. But even if our IF is charged with accusation, he will still respond to us with knowledge. The difference is up to us and our willingness to see him, hear him, to trust him.

Further Thoughts

• Is there an IF statement residing in my heart or a lack of understanding? What’s the best way to approach God about it?
• Am I accusing God of anything? What is it that I really want to know about Jesus?
• Could it be that someone else’s doubt planted a question in my heart?
• Could it be that accusation and an unwillingness to learn from God will cause a greater delay?