The Marriage Bed

I recently found this treasure in some old files of mine. I wrote this in 2012 right after spending a wedding anniversary in the neurological intensive care unit with my late husband. It was just the beginning of the roller coaster of treatments and recovery; and getting better and getting worse. I remember the Lord whispering, ever so gently, these words about the journey of a marriage bed.

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The Marriage Bed

It’s designed to begin and end with purity, an enduring place of firsts between a husband and wife. The first night full of experiment and discovery should set a standard for the marriage instead of memory. The joy and surrender of becoming one with someone else does not occur overnight. It is an enduring journey.

As the two intertwine and life plays its hand, the marriage bed will be a place of inside jokes, intimate secrets, tears, and laughter. Many decisions will be made there. Discussions started on opposite sides will end in a roll to the middle.

A husband sweeps his bride’s hair back as she lays over the side of the bed, nauseated. In her womb, the fruit of their union is announcing its presence. It won’t be long until the very same fruit runs, jumps, and bounces on the same bed where it was created, giggling all the while. The bed will extend its landing again to offer comfort from thunder storms and big bad dreams. No one’s covers can do a better job of covering than those of a mother and father’s.

Although the bed itself will change–a new mattress every ten years, a new frame as trends demand, and sheets and pillows will come and go–the spirit of the marriage bed is kept within the couple.

They may grow into a new home, downsize to a guest room, visit around the world, or even take it to a hospital. What once was a place of joy may become a place of pain. What was once health may become sickness, and richer may turn poorer. The same intimate care and discovery they experienced on their wedding night may look different as one feeds and bathes the other. Bedside tables pile up with medicine, heating pads, bedpans, Gatorade, and other things. With the maybes, with the change, come new jokes and secrets to share.

A marriage bed begins long before the words “I do” are spoken. I suspect that even death can’t end its celebration. Given the full attention of its occupants–and it needs constant attention–it will only grow and grow in love and strength. Unity in the better. Unity in the worse.

Love holds no record of wrong, it isn’t self-seeking, it is kind, it rejoices in truth, and it does not give up.

Photo by Becca Tapert